soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
