You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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