remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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