I'm so fucking centered right now
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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