Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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