Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
