Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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