just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So much rum. So many feels.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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