did you get engaged???
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
