I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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