So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
