I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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