at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
