just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
