I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
