can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Randomize
