its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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