I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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