omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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