who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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