Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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