i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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