Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
she peed on how many people?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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