The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
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