Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I want to be your penis for a week.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
