There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We talked him into tasing himself.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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