Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
tell me about the eggs
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
