hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
