Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The power of my boobs compel you
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
