You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I don't deserve a penis
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
All I want is dick and wine.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
