I wish I only lived at night.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
