So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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