he puts the penis in happiness.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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