I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
