I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
