shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
All the doctor said was why
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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