if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
