is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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