he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
This toilet bowl is my home.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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