and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
