i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
