Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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