I bet he comes in French.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
