apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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