Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
