Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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