Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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