He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
