Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
How does one acquire holy water?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
