Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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